Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Church Of England Should Be Run Like A Business!

The Vatican has decided to give financial rewards to employees who are doing a good job. It says it will take into account issues such as: dedication, professionalism, productivity and correctitude when awarding a pay rise.

More than 4,000 people, from cardinals to cleaners, work at the Vatican and base pay across a broad spectrum of jobs reportedly ranges from £791 to £1,582 a month. The new system will bring an added incentive into the Vatican’s salary system. I believe the Vatican is on to something here and that the Church of England should do the same.

In fact I believe that the Church of England should be run more like a business because week after week it suffers from low attendance and is as a result is haemorrhaging money. If these churches were post office branches then they would be shut by now. What I would do is close the churches which have less than 50 people at Sunday service, then sell them off to a property developer and use that money to update and modernise the remaining churches.

With the remaining churches I would install turnstiles and require every churchgoer to pay for the privilege of worshipping in the church. I would rent out the Hymn books for a modest fee and I would introduce advertising into the church. The vicar or reverend will wear a uniform emblazoned with advertising similar to the ones Formula One drivers wear. Also I would encourage churches to compete with each other and vicars/reverend will be paid based on their performance.

If vicars/reverends are paid by performance then there is an incentive for them to encourage people to come to church. What would also encourage people to come back to church is if there were special offers on ceremonies. For example if you attend church every Sunday for 5 years you get 20% off the cost of a wedding or if you attend church for 10 years then buy a wedding you get a funeral free. I believe my reforms are a brilliant idea which will encourage more people to attend church and make the Church of England more money.

5 comments:

Hats off said...

Not a bad idea.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely bonkers - are you guys for real?!?!?!

Rhoda La Whore

Hats off said...

Its not bonkers at all.

The big problem we have with the Church of England here in Britain is the fact that it is far too Liberal.

Biblically, there should be no homosexuals within the Church whatsoever yet Britain is flooded with them.

Biblically, women should cover their heads and should'nt play any part high above but they do.

And Biblically, every church goer should give a fifth of his earnings to the church yet the state of the Church of England at the moment clearly shows that not everyone does.

Therefore, we need radical reform, an evangelical emphasis and above all we need to put the Liberals trying to indoctronate us with their looney left wing agenda back in their place.

Rumsfeld said...

^ I agree the Church has become a flagbearer for the far left. But I cannot support what you say over women wearing headscarfes. Christianity must not be like Islam in that respect; we are not as backward as that.

Hats off said...

Christians only need to where headscarfes inside the church during a service though.

Its very common within the brethren and at some evangelical churches.

Only exclusive brethren cover themselves at all times.